What Happens When You Stop Swallowing Your Anger

Most of us were taught that “good women don’t get angry.” We learned to smile through disrespect, to swallow our truth and call it grace.

But that constant self-silencing doesn’t create peace—it creates pressure. The kind that makes your chest tighten, your jaw clench, your spirit shrink.

If you’ve been living that way, this post will help you understand why anger isn’t a flaw to fix, but a form of sacred clarity that reveals where your energy has been leaking.

In this week’s Deconditioning & Remembrance teaching, we’ll explore how to reclaim your anger as data—not danger—and how to turn it into the first spark of a boundary that actually holds.

When you’re ready to practice this in your own body, join me for my free on-demand ceremony, You Don’t Need to Protect Your Energy, You Need to Reclaim It, a gentle reset that helps you pull your energy back from performance and return to your field.

Prefer to keep me in your ears while you make coffee? Click here to watch and here to listen!

I grew up in a world where obedience was worship and silence was safety. Anger was something to confess, not express.

We were taught that calm makes us good. That composure means control. But calm built on suppression isn’t peace. It’s paralysis.

For years, I thought I was mastering my emotions. Really, I was abandoning myself. Every time I swallowed anger, I trained my body to believe that truth was dangerous.

And here’s what I finally learned: anger isn’t chaos. It’s coherence trying to break through.

If you’ve left control-based systems — religion, family dynamics, workplaces — you already know this script by heart:

Be nice. Stay pleasant. Don’t make anyone uncomfortable.

The problem is, that script doesn’t end when you leave the church or the marriage. It stays in your nervous system.

You end up apologizing for the very instincts that could save you. That’s why reclaiming anger is sovereignty work.

Because when you suppress your fire, you suppress your field.

And the field is where your power lives.

If this truth is landing, pause and go watch my free ceremony:
👉 You Don’t Need to Protect Your Energy, You Need to Reclaim It

It’s a five-minute reset that helps you pull your energy back from performance and re-root into your own authority.

Next time you feel anger rise, stop trying to smudge it away. Instead, place your hand where you feel it.

Ask: What boundary just got crossed?

Say it out loud, even if you whisper: That’s not okay with me. That single sentence rewires your field. It tells your body you’re finally listening.

I call it the obedience hangover.

It’s what happens when you’ve been polite for so long that your body forgets how to say no.

That ache, that exhaustion isn't weakness.

That’s the cost of betraying yourself for too long. Anger isn’t a failure of grace.

It’s proof that your integrity is still alive.

The day I left my first husband, I wasn’t fearless. I was furious.

And that fury was sacred.

It was the first clean truth my body had spoken in years. My anger didn’t destroy my family. His violence did.

My anger saved us.

That’s when I realized: anger isn’t sin — it’s sacred clarity.

It’s the signal your field sends to say, “Something sacred was crossed.” And when you honor it, you stop outsourcing safety and start living in coherence again.

You don’t need to fear your anger. You need to learn to read it. It’s your body’s oldest form of discernment and the one they trained you to doubt.

Here’s how to start working with it:

That’s what energetic boundaries actually are. Not walls, not avoidance.

Just the lived practice of honoring what your body already knows.

When you stop swallowing your anger, you stop performing goodness and start embodying truth.

You remember that peace isn’t the absence of conflict, it’s the presence of clarity.

You stop saying, “I’m fine,” and start saying, “That’s not for me.”

You stop smoothing edges that were meant to protect you. That’s what remembrance looks like: a woman who trusts her own fire.

If this opened something in you, don’t let it fade.
Go watch my free ceremony "You Don’t Need to Protect Your Energy, You Need to Reclaim It" 👇🏻