Choosing Yourself in Money: How Women Stop Waiting to Be “Picked” and Start Creating Their Own Wealth

When women talk about money, we rarely start with the truth: most of us were trained to wait for someone to choose us—professionally, financially, romantically, spiritually. It shows up in subtle ways: undercharging, under-asking, over-giving, waiting for “a sign,” hoping someone finally sees what we bring.

And in that waiting, our wealth stays trapped inside a story that was never ours.

This week we're talking about Wealth & Resource Coherence. Not as something we earn by being pleasing, small, or chosen, but something that naturally coheres around a woman who initiates her own path.

If you want deeper support, my FREE ceremony will steady your field before you even touch the money work.

Here’s the lie most of us absorbed:

You’ll be financially safe once someone chooses you.

It’s all the same spell—one that keeps your money tied to someone else’s approval.

“Obedience doesn’t keep you safe. It just keeps you quiet.”

That line has followed me through every version of myself. Growing up in spiritual conditioning, obedience was the currency that bought safety. You stayed small and grateful and quiet because you believed that’s how life stayed stable.

But that pattern doesn’t dissolve when you leave the system. It follows you into your inbox, your pricing, your bank account, and your work.

If you want to see the roots of this conversation, you may love my article How to Break Pick-Me Conditioning and Choose Yourself Again, which lays the groundwork for this week’s theme.

Even after years of healing, I didn’t realize how deep the “wait to be chosen” spell still lived in me until the day I watched a job slip through my fingers — a job I wanted, a job I could have done in my sleep, a job I never actually applied for.

I told myself I wasn’t ready.
I told myself they’d reach out if they were interested.
I told myself the timing was off.

But underneath all that logic was a truth I didn’t want to touch:
I was waiting for someone to pick me.

When the position was offered to someone else — someone less qualified, someone less experienced, someone simply willing to choose herself — my whole body dropped. Not because she got it… but because I finally saw the pattern.

I wasn’t scared of the work.
I wasn’t scared of the responsibility.
I was scared of stepping forward without a permission slip.

And that’s when it hit me: my wealth wasn’t blocked by numbers — it was blocked by obedience.
Wealth isn’t math.
Wealth is coherence.

Coherence is when your energy, choices, and resources finally tell the same truth.

Not the truth you were handed.
The truth you live.

Here’s how that shift begins:

If this re-patterning around desire, value, and self-trust is resonating, my post "How Unexpressed Anger Keeps Women Underpaid" is a powerful companion read.

If you've been undercharging or under-asking, try this:

The One-Sentence Wealth Spell

Stand at your kitchen counter.

Place one hand over your belly.

Say out loud:

"I choose me first, and my resources follow."

Then act on one tiny thing that honors that truth: send the email, raise the price, apply for the thing, buy the small joy.

Coherence begins with one decision aligned with your actual self, not your sacred self.

Here is the part most people skip over:

You can’t access real prosperity while still performing for approval.

Resource coherence only grows in women who author their own path—not wait to be invited onto someone else’s.

Money responds to clarity.
To autonomy.
To a woman who isn’t waiting for a verdict on her worth.

You don’t need to be chosen.
You need to choose.

When a woman stops hoping someone discovers her, validates her, or rewards her obedience, a very different future becomes available:

This is the heart of Wealth & Resource Coherence—your resources lining up with the version of you who leads, not waits.

If you want to see how this shows up in ritual, my post Turn Your Anger Into Art: Rituals for Grounded Power gives a beautiful example of embodied action meeting alignment.

You can walk this today:

If you need support regulating your field while you make these moves, go watch my free ceremony: